Sichuan Relief Mission

Hi everyone, I'm back from Sichuan.

This is probably going to be a long entry, with a significant lack of photos. However, I think it is vital that you all know what happened when I disappeared from the world for 10 days. (Seriously - 65 new emails in my inbox when I came back!? I was never THIS popular!!! =P)

We left on Thursday night. A few of us left class early to get to the train station, and I have to say, it was a mad dash to get everyone's things together, plus the film equipment. I even left my small Roots duffel bag (with all my clothes!) behind in the student office! Thank God Jie asked me where my bag of clothes were and I managed to run back and get it. Traffic was crazy, and we arrived at the train station with minutes to spare to get on the train. Once we got on, we all started speaking in Chinese, for we didn't want to attract attention at first (as if we already didn't) and be a prime target for thieves. Kevin brought 6 bottles of beer and we toasted the beginning of our journey.

Then the train ride. It was so LOOOONG! 37 hours on the train - two nights on the hard sleepers - one full day of talking and playing cards. It was ridiculous. But at least we were all together. We also took turns in keeping watch both nights, because we were worried that thieves would target our money pouches and our film equipment (which was either rented or borrowed).

When we finally arrived in the city of Jiang You, you have no idea how relieved we were to get out of the stuffy train. We made our way to the inn/hotel and took up four rooms, most of us being bunched together. We also found out that the middle schoolers were going to be in Deng Jia Xiang for only that weekend, and so we had to go and see them right away if we wanted a chance to play with them and give them gifts. So almost immediately after unloading our bags and quick showers, we all took a three hour bus ride to Deng Jia Xiang on the bumpy mountainous road. We got to see them for a couple of hours and got to see the town. There weren't many finished buildings; it was dirt road, construction, dust, rubble, and some run down buildings, surrounded by the bangfangs - which are basically the metal-sheeted houses that the government gave to families who lost their homes. The bangfangs were pretty much separated by village: one village was grouped in one area near Deng Jia Xiang. Deng Jia Xiang was a small town before, and it grew because of all the other victims moving into the area. As we returned home, we passed by a quarry that became a graveyard for all those miners trapped in there.

By the way, we were also the very first volunteers to ever enter Deng Jia Xiang and help the communities there.

The first night was spent at the hotel in Jiang You, and the next day we went to Deng Jia Xiang, where we stayed in guest rooms above a restaurant. There were two paths to Jiang You by the way: the longer, safer, three-hour path, and the faster, more dangerous, two-hour path. We took the two-hour path going (film crew + children's team) while the physical team bought supplies in Jiang You. It was dangerous in that the roads were bumpier, and there was greater risk for landslides. Really uncomfortable too by the way.

Our days in Jiang You were spent in either teaching the children (who were a crazy, rowdy bunch) or going to villages to help distribute the supplies such as cooking oil, canes, t-shirts, and basic toiletries. As part of the film crew, we basically followed either the physical team or the children's team and filmed what they did. We got interviews with the local people, a couple of local village leaders, and some commentaries from the people on the team. It was always a long day for the film crew because we always took a long time. You could say that we held the rest of the teams back in terms of how fast they could move, but it was very necessary so that we could get the best shot and make the best film possible. It was hard for people to understand that in the beginning, but eventually everyone got used to it and would warn us ahead of time so that we could set up shots before they did the activity we wanted to film.

We also tried to get into some *sensitive areas* of which I would rather not name for fear of Chinese censors. =P We were successful, and all I can say is I personally hope we got enough footage for the documentary.

It was a stressful trip in that we were always tired. The film crew always had meetings after meetings and equipment checks. After we filmed the general debriefings, we'd have our own meetings and look over "dailies" - or basically the footage we filmed that day. It was particularly hard on members of the film crew because we had to distance ourselves somewhat from the rest of the team so that we could film them and technically be very invasive on their personal feelings. However, we were also still very much part of the crew as we were constantly being referred to and thought of by everyone else. In addition, Spencer kept speaking up for us in the meetings, further involving us in the team. I tried my best to distance myself from everyone else for the film's sake; I did not want to be in the film and I did not find any need to express my feelings or my reflections of the day. Unfortunately, I have to say I saw everything through the eyes of an outsider - which may be good for the purposes of filmmaking, but I saw it as a way to de-humanize myself. I could not feel the true impact of the destruction of the earthquake on the buildings and on people's lives. In the beginning, there were times when I was very close to crying, but I held it in. And I think by closing myself up emotionally, I appeared cold-hearted and less affected than everyone else, when the truth was: I just didn't know how I should feel. Otherwise, there was a lot of footage and a lot of material for the documentary in Sichuan. If I had a few more days, and I really pushed myself, I feel we could have gotten more. But what is done is done.

I didn't lose any weight though. Despite all the physical strains and such, I think I developed muscles in my legs and arms more than anything else. My appetite has gone all weird because I would eat inconsistently and late, or would eat random snacks for meals. And so tomorrow I have to return to a normal diet!!!

There is nothing more I can say about Sichuan other than that it was ridiculous. It was ridiculously good in that we accomplished a lot. We saw another side of China - probably the real China. I saw how ridiculously spoiled I was with my lifestyle in New York and Shanghai; it made me feel guilty to be craving for bubble tea when people in Deng Jia Xiang probably never had any access to bubble tea. It made me feel spoiled to want a hot shower when it cost 5 kuai to have a hot shower in Deng Jia Xiang because it's so hard to get a hot shower; in fact when I got home and took a shower, I took a relatively cold one. I was used to the bucket showers in the bathrooms of Deng Jia Xiang =P

It was also ridiculously bad - we were climbing dangerous mountains and paths and any of us could have gotten hurt at any moment. I personally tripped/slipped and fell at least twice while in Deng Jia Xiang - I even have a bruise on my ankle to prove it (tripped on a wire that was running through the grass and didn't see it). But we all - the whole team - emerged unscathed, save for the mosquito bites (gosh those buggers are vicious). Several other people were close to getting hurt, but didn't. Thankfully, most of us got sick in the middle to end of the trip, so it wasn't as bad.

We also adopted a puppy! It's mom was killed by a car, and it was lying on the street alone, and so the Lucys picked it up and we cleaned and fed it. We named the puppy Lucky, and he was sick enough that it was clear he needed a vet. Lucky went to Lucy Liu's relatives in Chengdu to be raised and taken care of.

Sichuan was ridiculous, but it was clear that more relief work was needed. It was unfortunate to see them pretty much be left on their own, as the government and sometimes even their own village leaders not take care of them. I am thinking of returning - if relief work is still needed - the summer I graduate from college. I actually didn't mind the living conditions so much. But that's way in the future - and things can change very easily.

As of now, however, I am ridiculously homesick. I miss New York and all my friends back home more than ever. In many ways - I cannot wait to get out of Shanghai. To get out of this toxic environment and this place that feels less and less comforting than ever.